We don't exactly have the perfect father-daughter relationship. We don't call each other every day, even weeks sometimes. We rarely see each other.
For the past years, our relationship hasn't been easy... We rarely see eye to eye and arguments happen way to easy between the two of us but that doesn't change the amount that I love you, pa. I may not say this often but no matter how far we both are from each other, I love you a great deal.
During dinner, I know you were staring at me. Your eyes filled with regrets; I can see how much you regret not being there during 90% of my childhood. You know dad, I wanted to be one of those kids who had their father to talk to the guy that his daughter is seeing.. The father who creeps the guy that his daughter is seeing.. Make stupid comments and gives creepy smile. The father who taught his babygirl how to ride a bike and how to beat up boys. I never actually had those memories with you. It was all with mama..
I would love to believe that you were there throughout the nineteen years of my life but both you and I know that whatever I want to believe in is a lie. I envy those kids who have their dads to comfort them whenever they have their hearts broken, or the ones who have their dads to back you up when you got into a pile of mess. I didn’t have any of those, dad but it’s alright.. Whenever I sleep at night, I’d picture you as this superhero I never had.
Despite of all that, my love for you can't be measured, pa. Every day, I miss you. Every single moment, I'm always proud of you. I know I don't say this often but you are more than enough. I just wish I could say this to you but I can't. I love you, pa.
and I forgive for all the years that you weren't there for me.
And I hope, you'd forgive me too for being an absent-daughter.