Sunday, August 26, 2012

Knock you down.

Dear you,

After today's event, I realized how lucky I am to be out of the relationship. I saw how you treated your current girlfriend in front of our friends and to be honest, you don't even deserve the girl that you're holding now in your arms. You're still the jerk that I knew three years ago. I can't believe after all of these years, you haven't changed. Even a bit. You are still a boy. You made unnecessary jokes in front of your girlfriend in front of me and the girl you were cheating on with while you were with me.

I realized you will never be capable to be a man. I thought after few years, you'd mature into this man that you've sworn you'll be but what I saw just now was a boy who's still lost. You complained about your girlfriend to me back then but after seeing how you treated us infront of her, I now know why she acted the way she did.

If you can't take care of a girl's heart, just try not to break it. You're twenty-two, not eighteen. Maybe back then, you could use 'not matured' as an excuse but what's your excuse now?


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Kings of Leon - Closer

D: I read your blog

Me: What about it?

D: I read your latest post, about the things that make you happy.

Me: Oh yeah. So what makes you happy?

D: You.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Coldplay - How You See The World

Boy: So what now?

Me: You can't expect me to accept you back in my life. It's been five years, you can't just expect it'll be okay.

Boy: But I'm here now, that's all that matters, right?

Me: Look, maybe if ni 2/3/4 years ago, I'd accept you back in my life. Because back then, it was different. I won't stay just because I still have feelings because if I did, I'd still be with my ex.

Boy: What do you mean?

Me: *Sigh* We're not seventeen anymore. Relationship can't just depend on feelings; it needs trust, commitment, loyalty. All of the things that you're lacking of since the first day we met. I loved you, so much  back then. I fucking loved you. You fucked with my feelings. You treated me like a princess when we were together and then you confessed your feelings to me. I asked you to give me a week. And you know what happened after that? After a fucking week, I decided to accept you. And you know what the heck happened after that? You told me that the girl that you asked to be your girlfriend about two weeks ago finally accepted you. How the fuck did you expect me to feel?

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Boy: You busy tak today?

Me: Kenapa you tanya?

Boy: Tak ada la, if you're not busy.. I wanna catch up with you, I'm not back often.

Me: I'm free now, we don't always meet up pun when you're back. Apa yang you nak catch up kan?

Boy: How are you dengan your boyfriend?

Me: *sigh* It didn't work out, we broke up. 

Boy: How come?

Me: I'm quite tired of telling the same story over and over again but what I can assure you is that I'm okay. I have been busy with my upcoming uni event and class has started. So, my time is fully occupied right now.

Boy: Are you sure? 

Me: *Nods*

Boy: Can I tell you the truth?

Me: Apa dia?

Boy: I broke up with mine, too. 

Me: Why?

Boy: I couldn't forget that certain someone.

Me: Who are you talking about?

Boy: You.

Me: Wait, what? Please, don't do this now.

Boy: Why not, Nad? When I wasn't seeing anyone, you were with Azmi. And then when you were single, I was seeing someone else. Both of us were never single at the same time. And you were complaining how both of us just sucked at timing. Why not now?

Me:  And you think our timing is just too good right now for you just waltzed back into my life? You confessed while you were seeing your girlfriend and you just left after that. 

Boy: I was stupid okay.

Saturday, April 21, 2012


I know that you're having a blast right now but just so you know, you haven't left my mind. After a full consideration, I have decided to write this because honest to god, I can't take the pain anymore. Whether you're here or not here with me, it hurts like hell. But to see you becoming the person I clearly hate, pains me even more.

You want to talk about trust? You give me every reason to doubt you. You think by telling me the truth, would make me feel okay. You think by lying, would save me from the heartache. Did you ever think by not doing 'that' would actually save us from this torturous situation? No. I hate your excuses, I hate your reasons. I hate listening to the overplayed stories about you and your friends. I am not a kid, I won't be fed to your stories an just be happy with it. I'm not like that.

I just wish you'd grow up and be a man.

I love you but this pain has got to stop.

For once, think about MY feelings instead of yours.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Skinny love.

Ring ring ring...


"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm fine, what's up? You ni jarang je call I"

"Uhm, can we meet up?"


So she drove to the place where they used to meet back then. The place where their ancient love took place, the place where they fell in love and also the place where they fell out of love. He was smoking his favorite cigarette while she just looked at him because he looked so different. He looked messy.

He sighed and then he asked, "Who was the last person who made you truly happy?"

She was surprised with his question and she wasn't hasty with her answer. She gave him one name and it wasn't his even though he's her first love.

"Why did you ask?"

"How do you make someone happy, like genuinely happy?", he asked.

She could hear the frustration in his voice. She moved an inch closer to him and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Aren't you happy now?", she asked.

He shook his head and threw the cigarette butt just inches away from his feet.

"So who made you genuinely happy last?", she added.


Friday, February 24, 2012


Dear you,

When I wrote that letter, I wanted a closure. I wanted to make amends. I wanted us to be friends but looking at how things are between us now, the only thing that I want is to stay away from you. I have my reasons for staying but ever since you walked out of my life, you do not deserve to know those reasons because you only think about your feelings. You put me in a difficult position, the position that made us become worse but I thank you for that for doing those things because now I know that you are no longer worth my time.

And I believed you were different. You are just the same like others.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Pain, you decided to settle in.

Dear you,

To see us become strangers after being so close to eachother is heartbreaking. I never thought we would end this way, I saw it coming but not this way. People warned me about being too close, they warned me that a girl and a guy couldn't remain platonic and we thought we could prove people wrong, for once.

I miss you.

I miss how I could talk about almost anything and everything with you. And how we would go crazy when we find annoying and almost disturbing videos. Remember when you couldn't believe how crazy I went at Justin Bieber's concert? Yeah, I miss that.

2011 went great partly because of you and it hurts me to see how both of us would only nod when we see each other or you'd just pretend like you didn't see me but I know it hurts you more than it does to me. I caused this, I made us become strangers. I used to put the blame on you when the pain finally settled in but that just shows how selfish I am. You made the friendship fun, you made things easy.

I know one day, I will look back and regret everything. The worst part is, I know you'll never come back.